Saturday, June 14, 2014

The Dry Well

Don't pretend to know the secrets of my heart. You may have shared life with me for many years; but you never really took to the time to know me. Within me lies the power to evoke the sensual, the ecstatic dance of heart and body, the power of self healing...and those who have the desire for these things find it easily when they are near me. They respond in kind. They return what is given, and what is given is done so without expectation of return. All you ever had to do was to understand this. All you ever had to do was to stand on your own two feet, and to allow yourself to become lost in a moment with me. I cannot heal what you won't allow to be healed. I cannot transfer a layer of passion and sensuality onto you, and then convince myself that it's real. So pay close attention to the things we could not evoke in one another. That's where the answers lie. This is no simple thing, and there have been no swift decisions made here.

All that I am exists within a deep well. First you sipped. Sipping turned to gulping, and soon, your thirst became insatiable. All the while, you were sinking within the well. Further and further down you went, until you finally reached the bottom. You looked up to realize there was no way to climb back out. No way to float back to the brim....All you could do is sit at the dry bottom and hope someone would come along and lift you back out. You can't keep drawing from a well that gets no rain. All you had to do was BE that rain. All you had to do was pour out your spirit and let it fill me in much the same way mine has filled you.

Love and passion are like water in the vases of Temperance, one flowing into the other. If one is not filled with the other, both of them become empty.  There must be flow. There must be motion. There must be reciprocation.

Perhaps you think my heart has moved on too quickly. Again you're wrong. My heart has been drifting for years, searching desperately for the motion it so badly needs. After all this time, you should know my heart well enough to know that it never seeks to destroy unless it absolutely must. Caught in its wake, I know you feel lost. I know you feel pain. I know you feel as though you have no place to go. In knowing this, I also know that you now feel what I have felt for so long. At the bottom of the dry well, it's all that's left. I never intended to put you in such a place; but I allowed it to happen. I enabled you to get there. And though I'm certainly not the only one to blame, I am truly...deeply sorry.

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